Saturday, March 27, 2010

Hello Springzzzz

With the start of spring I halved my daily dose of Wellbutrin. I was doing alright until a couple of days ago when suddenly I just got so tired, and as each day passes now, I am more tired. I'm sure this is nothing compared to some of the antidepressants out there but man... I am suddenly finding that I hardly have the stamina to type out a paragraph in email, and by the end of the day I just feel sad and sort of confused.

I'm torn between just wanting to get it over with because it's bad, and wanting to wean slowly because it's bad. For the next week I'll just take one every other day, and the next week none at all, and so... For the next couple of weeks I am probably going to drop off the face of the earth because I'm not really good company.

See you on the flipside.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

List Madness

Back in high school my friends and I really liked making ridiculous lists. Usually short ones while out for coffee.

However, one winter, I--with the help of many friends many times--made a list of 705 things to be happy about and 705 things to be depressed about.

I'm reading the latter and cracking up.

150: Chester Copperpot
152: Golf
158: When what you thought was black ends up being brown
175: Stuff floating in your water
177: When Full House makes you cry
183: Ballpoint pens
209: Fear of sleep
323: "The nothing"
416: Ketchup juice
435: School spirit

Just to be fair I'll name some from the happy list:

62. New socks (still one of my very favorite things)
101. Cute old ladies
125. Pink fuzzy PJs
272. Kurt's seasoning (on your mother-in-law)
325. Happy little foothills
558. No naughty cats (why was this funny? I think it had something to do with Dave Bogan)
574. Hamburger fantasies

There were actually a lot of things that made both lists. I think probably most things in life a person could be happy or sad about.

You know, like zoos, or money, or birds at dawn.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Questions, Questions, Questions

ah... hmm... hmm...

I am paralyzed with fear of wording things in a less than sensitive way. I am terrified to ask people in my life about their beliefs and demand explanations. I have questions that are offensive to people.

I'm not ready to write about it but I need to get that hideous picture of me off of the top of the page.

...

Here is one for you who read the bible: Do you have a favorite bible? A favorite version? I have seven and they are all pretty different when you get down to details. I think many of you probably have a lot more than that.

I went out for coffee with a pastor I know yesterday. I looked at his bible and was strangely jealous. It was obviously well "loved" and full of unintelligible notes. I wanted to know what version it was but I'm not sure there was room for one more question in that conversation.

...

I know a lot of people who talk about being spiritual and have sort of a vague idea of what they kind of sort of believe. I mean, I think most people might fit into this category.

I'm pretty sure I understand what athiests believe. That's easy to understand. What I want to know is, those of you who have other STRONG beliefs, what makes you so sure? And did you always feel that way or did you become that way? Was there any rational thought behind it or something you just felt? It's hard to ask these questions without worrying that people with think I'm trying to poison them with doubt or something.

I just want to understand people a little more.