Sunday, July 25, 2010

In Transit

Yann Tiersen. I am addicted to this music. When I listen to Yann Tiersen, I go on a journey. It's the only time I feel like I might not mind dying because in that moment I feel okay with the whole of the human experience--the joy, the pain, the life so real you can sink your teeth into it. I think about the ugliest moments of life and feel at peace with them. God, real life can be ugly!

Uglier than you ever thought, more beautiful than you ever imagined, and amazing in a completely different way than you expect. I want to lay down on the ground and run my fingers through the grass, feel the weight of each footstep, no more and no less than it is.

I think about my tiny plot of life when I listen to this music. For a second I understand just how brief it is, and instead of feeling its insignificance, I feel... just in awe of all that sweating and filth and bleeding and eating and drinking and... how BIG it is, all that flavor, packed in such a small blip.

I don't know what to make of it.

And then we arrive at the destination, I turn the car off, I get the kids out, we buy smoothies and walk around thinking about tomatoes instead.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Passion of the Christ

So, we finally watched this, and wanted to jot down some thoughts.

I was immediately turned off by the devil in the garden/serpent scene, and all of the demon/Satan appearances, really.

I wasn't bothered by the portrayal of the Sanhedrin.

Jesus could have been more Jewish, though.

The humorous scene with the table made me groan a bit.

Afterward, Jason asked me what I thought. Mostly, the whole time I was watching, I was thinking about how it would be to watch one of my own children be ridiculed, tortured, and killed in such a way, and be able to do nothing to stop it. You want to shield them from pain, dress their wounds, wrap them in cozy blankets and kiss their tears away... The scene where she's kissing his toes was pretty sad.

All in all, I thought it was okay and would have been better without some of the cheesy additions to the story.

What did you think, if you saw it?

Friday, July 16, 2010

Mommy Thoughts

I got to spend some time alone with Cullen tonight and I realized how much I miss being alone with him. It was so nice that I actually let him stay up an hour past bedtime. He's so lovely, calm and polite when there's no competition. Sometimes I think maybe he would have been better off as a firstborn, but then I think he would be even more unbearable when he didn't get his way or had to share. I guess I'll keep things the way they are!

Mina had an eye checkup today. Here eyes are at a standstill right now. I really hope her vision doesn't hold her back from anything in life. The (nurse?) said something about wanting to get her to a point where she would be able to drive a car, but that she wouldn't be able to be a pilot... Stuff like that just makes your heart sink a bit even if being a pilot was never in the wishlist.

Right now I'm going through some kind of separation anxiety. Cullen is asleep and Jason took Mina and Leta to a STAR PARTY at the UW Space Place where they got to build Galileoscopes and then look at the stars/planets. They have been so excited about it, but I keep thinking, what if right now Mina is having a meltdown because of a scary bathroom? What if what if what if. I check my phone, wishing for a text, wishing for a picture, wishing for some reassurance when I should relax and think no news means they are having a great time... Right?

Also, I kind of hate missing their experiences. You know what I love, though? Listening to them tell people about what they did/are doing with their daddy. It makes me a bit teary.

Still. I hope they come home soon.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Illustration Friday - "Giant"

Today's Illustration Friday theme is "giant" and this is the first thing that popped into my head.