Friday, September 25, 2009

Good Grief!

Jason was totally grossed out by the picture of my mouth ulcer. He says I shouldn't have posted it. Now I'm embarrassed. I really have no idea what's gross and what isn't. I guess I like looking at gross pictures of injuries and diseases. *shrug*

Sorry.

Quiet Week

This has been a quiet week for me. Usually when I'm having a quiet week I'm busy thinking. This week I'm not thinking a lot. I'm just sort of resting, and keeping busy--if that makes sense. I've been living in jeans and t-shirts, no make-up. I'm not interested in being pretty or looking well put together this week. I'm not sad, I just feel like laying low and doing busy work.
I've been working on this painting for a lovely little boy I know who thinks pi is beautiful. And it is. It's also a little maddening, I think, but that's me... I get upset about things that have no end.My whiteboard which reminds me what I'm doing, and that I've been very productive, and allows me to see all that needs to be done, big and small, neatly categorized...
These are the bane of my existence. No, not teeth. Mouth ulcers. I don't get them as often as I used to, but I've had one all week and I don't want to talk, or eat, or even drink. This little guy is making the whole side of my face hurt. It is right on a saliva gland and it rubs just so on my teeth, so that it is always being aggravated.

I hope you all have a good weekend!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Not a bad Sunday

So far today has been... Good/interesting.

This morning every time I got to thinking anything about anything, I sort of started freaking out. Finally I was just going into the kitchen when it caught up with me and took me down. So I had a little crying jag on my kitchen floor, and my gracious husband talked me through it. It made me think of the cat litter dream. Who knew he was so good at dealing with messes?

Mina spent the morning in her room because she lied yesterday. It was a totally funny lie, too. I was taking Cullen's toys out of the girls' room and Mina was cupping her hands together, saying, "I don't have one of Cullen's cars in my hands!" Oh, Mina.

Jason made omelets for brunch. He saw Julia Child make an omelet and wanted to try doing it exactly the way she did it, right down to using chopsticks to beat the eggs. They were delicious! He even cleaned up the stove. Jason, you're hired!

Leta and I went down to the Willy St. Fair. I don't think either of us really enjoyed it. We got a smoothie and some egg rolls, walked up and down, and then left. She didn't want to listen to any music. I enjoyed walking with Leta and holding her hand, but we could have done that without the crowd... Though, she probably only allowed me to hold her hand because she didn't want to lose me in the crowd.

Now Leta is asleep next to me on the couch, huffing her doggy blankie as usual. She'll be bringing that thing to college someday. *sniffle*

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Dreams -n- Plans

Last night I had a bit of a nightmare.

I realized, in my dream, that I had a cat! And I'd completely forgotten about the whole litterbox thing for a few years. I was so mad at myself for not remembering to clean the litterbox. I kept thinking, "What is WRONG with me?"

As I went downstairs I braced myself for the horror. Halfway down I realized a pipe was spraying water everywhere... When I got down to the bottom there was a big pile of litter that was about five feet by five feet. I cried as I scooped it into bags, and then there was a knock at the door and the doctor came in. He got down on his knees and started scooping cat poo into bags with me and explaining what can happen if you let it build up. I was really embarrassed but relieved to have the help.

I was really glad, when I woke up, that it was just a dream! But of course it never really is "just a dream", is it? Thanks for helping me clean up the mess, doc.

This is going to be a good weekend. I wish it were a little cooler, but I think we can still have fun. I don't think we'll do the farmer's market, but maybe the Willy St. Fair at some point and perhaps the arboretum to let the kids run around... Maybe I can talk my lovely husband into taking pictures... Yessss...

Bon week-end!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Need: Pastry, Chocolate, Cream Cheese Filled Things

And girlfriends. I could go for a night of cheesy movies, yoga pants, delicious things to eat, lounging around with good friends. Who wants to have a slumber party? ;)

I wanted to try to write every day but I've got nothing going on upstairs...

I promise to come back in a week or two full of zest and pizazz. I'll tell you what I think about cherries in my soda, kids today, the law of conservation of energy, and most importantly, how many small animals I've got tangled up in my hair.

See you then!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's that time of the year

Time for using the light box, taking vitamin D (thanks for the reminder, Dr. Dude) and taking happy pills.

We finished watching Six Feet Under last week and that has had me in a rather stormy, internalized state--thinking about life, and what makes us who we are, who I am and what I want my life to be...

What makes us who we are? The things we like or don't like, the way we feel, the way we treat others? Why are some people driven by motive x and others driven by motive y? Are you the things you think about? Are you the ways in which you've touched others lives? Do I exist when you take away my hobbies, the people I love, the things I want to do... When you take away all context, how is Hilary? What is Hilary? Is Hilary? Is there something wrong with feeling like I need all of these things to know my place in space? Is there something wrong with needing to lean up against a wall to know that you have a body?

Babble...

I have decided to start a new series of paintings and try to keep very busy with that. I picture my brain oozing out through my fingers and my paintbrush and onto a canvas... I picture smiling and feeling at peace in my vacuous state.

I need this.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

How to Traumatize Your Kid

We made Cullen cry today just by singing the ABC song.

Cullen only likes two songs. The "I love you, you love me" song, and "Rock-a-bye baby" because I pick him up and rock him like a baby, then pretend to drop him during the "When the bough breaks the cradle will fall" part. All other songs, ESPECIALLY the ABC song, make him cry. How will he ever learn his letters?

He cries and yells, "NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" like it's the worst thing in the world. We're not the best singers but we're not that bad either! Unfortunately for Cullen, we all think this is hilarious, and his yelling and crying only encourages us to sing more. He probably has perfect pitch and can't stand to hear sub-par music and we're literally causing him pain and invalidating his feelings but...

Sigh.

Sorry, kid. We like singing. And apparently, we like laughing at your pain. We hope you'll forgive us someday.