Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's that time of the year

Time for using the light box, taking vitamin D (thanks for the reminder, Dr. Dude) and taking happy pills.

We finished watching Six Feet Under last week and that has had me in a rather stormy, internalized state--thinking about life, and what makes us who we are, who I am and what I want my life to be...

What makes us who we are? The things we like or don't like, the way we feel, the way we treat others? Why are some people driven by motive x and others driven by motive y? Are you the things you think about? Are you the ways in which you've touched others lives? Do I exist when you take away my hobbies, the people I love, the things I want to do... When you take away all context, how is Hilary? What is Hilary? Is Hilary? Is there something wrong with feeling like I need all of these things to know my place in space? Is there something wrong with needing to lean up against a wall to know that you have a body?

Babble...

I have decided to start a new series of paintings and try to keep very busy with that. I picture my brain oozing out through my fingers and my paintbrush and onto a canvas... I picture smiling and feeling at peace in my vacuous state.

I need this.

3 comments:

justcurious said...

Loved Six Feet Under.

You vacuous? Impossible. There's a lot going on in there.

yermomma said...

I think painting is a great idea! Do it soon! When I am creative, life is soooo good!
I think about a lot of those things too, I wish we could go somewhere for a weekend, just you and me. When will we be able to do that?
love you, yer Mom

sharliea said...

Yergrandma said......

I wanna go too..