Last night I did not feed Cullen when he woke up crying. Because I'd been drinking beer all afternoon/evening, I was pretty relaxed and I think that helped. I think this is the week I will put a stop to all this nonsense. Then I'll write a book about how to wean your kids from nighttime feedings with good old fashioned alcohol abuse. Right after I write that book about how to potty train them with chocolate chip bribery. Mother of the year, here I come!!!
I really feel better than I have in a long time. I feel pretty good, at my core, at my foundation. I'm depressed and anxious and stressed about things, in response to things, in situations, and that is a good thing. It is so good to be feeling a wide range of emotions in response to life, as opposed to continuous crippling despair that is there from the moment you wake until the moment you slumber and probably still then, too, varying only to get WORSE when life is difficult. It's hard to do any problem solving when the waters are so muddy.