Saturday, November 29, 2008

Weathering the storm in my sleep

I managed to remember a dream Thanksgiving night even though I wasn't entirely sure that I ever fell asleep. I must have dosed off in the early morning sometime.

My most obvious recurrent dream symbol is the tornado.

Growing up, and up until I was around twenty, I used to have dreams all the time that I would be doing some mundane activity, and look up to see that five cyclones were headed straight for me. I'd start running around telling everyone, "Oh my god! We have to find shelter! Oh my god! The tornadoes are coming this way!" and no one would do anything and they would treat me like I'm just some crazy kid, and the general feeling was being out of control and extremely frustrated.

When I started trying to make some positive changes, getting rid of sources of pain, and embracing my more nurturing friends, and figuring out how to feel better... Then I had one where I was again doing something mundane, and again looked up to see all the tornadoes, and when I said, "We need to get in the basement!" everyone said, "Well you're probably being silly but just in case, we will go, to make you feel better". It was improvement.

When I started my life with Jason--not married, mind you, but sort of at that pivotal moment when you have to decide to abandon ship or dig your heals in... I had a dream that Jason and I were driving away together when there on the horizon I saw the tornadoes. I said, "Oh no! Tornadoes!" and Jason said, "Oh no! Let's get in the ditch together!" and I knew then that it was love.

Anyway, Thanksgiving night I dreamed of being in a basement while a tornado raged overhead. I was doing everything I could do, and would probably be okay, I just had to wait for the tornado to pass.

So I guess that's life right now. Hoping the tornado passes, and doing what I can to be safe while it's here.

8 comments:

Erin said...

Oh, hillary. So smart your sleeping brain is. So smart
and lucky too.

david mcmahon said...

Erin sent me here. You impart such power in the way you write.

May the storm subside.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Wow, Erin is right, your brain is very clever. You reminded me of a dream I have that seems to be similar. I love brains, hee hee. Hope the storm does subside hon, but glad you've got people there keeping you company.

Sandi McBride said...

First of all, congratulations on Post of the Day...secondly, isn't it amazing how our brains sort us out while we are sleeping? The trick is to listen for the message. I think you listen quite well.
Sandi

Lee said...

Congratulations on making Post of the Day at Davids. Sounds like your dreams reflect positive progress in your life. Good story.

Peace!
Lee

Claudia said...

When my husband was dying of pancreatic cancer...I had 5 very meaningful dreams. They sort of walked me through the stages of grief, and were really helpful.

lmerie said...

Over from David's, congrats!
Aren't dreams interesting! Especially the recurring ones.

Zip n Tizzy said...

I used to have that dream, but living near the ocean at the time, it was Tidal Waves. So infuriating that no one will pay attention. Yet, very good that you are!