Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Keeping up appearances

Yesterday I went to the doctor and complained about my skin for half an hour.

He gave me the Mayo Clinic info on Rosacea, acknowledging that I already knew all that stuff from my internet digging (haha) and previous visits but here it is anyway...

We discussed treatment options (topical, oral antibiotics, Accutane...) and really the only option for me is to either do nothing, or use Metrogel, because I am breastfeeding. He recommends wearing hypoallergenic sunscreen and a wide-brimmed hat.

Then...

The warts. I won't go into detail about how awful it is for me to have anyone look at the bottom of my feet. Of course the doctor said anyone who doesn't hate their feet isn't normal. His take on the warts was that the only reason to treat them is if they hurt. What about my self esteem? My self esteem hurts! No, they can be uncomfortable, and are getting worse. Anyway, We talked about all the things I'd done for them over the years with no success, and he said all they could really do at the clinic was to freeze them over and over and he really didn't think that was going to do the trick if it hadn't worked in the past.

SO, in the end, I got a prescription for Metrogel and a referral to Dermatology, because they might have some new fancy way to treat warts and rosacea. My appointment is in August.

I felt sort of deflated after my appointment. I get really anxious about appointments and when that wears off the effect is sort of depressive. I worry about overreacting, wasting time, underreacting, being a nuisance. I feel like I'm there all the time. Of course, it's never for ME. I know that. And I have a very nice, friendly, comfortable sort of doctor. It's just that when I go in and complain about something I tend to feel negative afterwards. Negative, vulnerable, foolish, paranoid.

God, I'm such a nut!

At least I didn't have to sit on the table.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I feel exactly the same when I go complain to my doctor...then again, I complain all the time and tend to cry lately making me feel weak and vulnerable maybe? I go to enforce this feeling on Wednesday, unfortunately, I think I have to be exposed on the damn table...ugh...I hate the table.