Wednesday, September 27, 2006

we're moving

We are buying a house. It's pretty much exausting every part of me, mostly because I'm pretty neurotic. Then I wonder how stupid people buy houses because *whiny voice* it's haaaaaaaard. Then I wonder if it's hard because I'm stupid! And pretty soon I'm not sleeping.

I can only hope that Amy Sedaris secretly lives next door and can be my nutty neighbor. I will probably have to play that character myself though.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


There is new art if you'll click on the link to the right, the one that says something like "blah blah Hilary Samsa's art".

That piece is sold, my friends, but I will happily paint something just for you, or a loved one, for a price. Thank you.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I forgot

that the reason I never eat chocolate is because it gives me headaches. So for the last week I have been drinking these sinfully crappy swiss mochas in the morning and without fail every night, I get a headache. So it probably isn't a tumor. ;)

I have to sew some little dresses now. Tra la la...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

quick notes

~I bought a painting at St. Vinnie's today. It's a still life, quelle suprise right? Anyway I think it's dandy. It's signed BEAUMONT. Probably going to be worth millions.

~I also bought a BCBG Max Azria shirt for $3. It has umbrella print. It caught my eye because of the umbrellas and I noticed the "made in USA" which means hot designer item right? Well anyway. I think it's primo. And what I say goes when it comes to fashion. Even when I say ruffles on all your T-shirts, my friends. Oh yes. And I do mean it.

~I have had headaches every night all week. Today at least it is sort of all over the top and dull. Previously (as in for the last year or so) they have been on my right side, all over that side, and very horrible, and my face would actually turn red on that side. It's probably a tumor. That's funny to two people and they are me and Shannon.

~I snipped the red heads off of my snake-like hair tonight. I could not take it any more. Now I really look like a rock star. You don't have to be jealous, I can do it to your hair, too!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


The other day as I climbed into bed with my new book of Kakuro puzzles, Jason asked, "Whatever happened to drawing and painting?"
My first thought was, "Well I can't really do that in bed while I watch Sex and the City..."
My second thought was, "Get off my back, I have been doing a lot this year..."
But in the end, my friends, I got to thinking--getting back to the kind of person he was so intrigued by--yes, yes, I do need to do more, for many reasons. Not only is it good for me, good to keep practicing and do what I love to do, it's good for my marriage. Yes. Doing more drawing and painting is part of, well, doing my part.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

This weekend we visited the park across the street from the house I spent years 8-18 of my was so lovely I could have cried. The yellow house on the left is the one...and a picture of Mina listening to John Pfeiffer
play the guitar...

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Oh, and...

Let's all toast to Shannon and Laney leaving Africa today! They're off to Amsterdam to start their post-peace corps pre-homecoming vacation. Yippy!

good stuff

This lego tower Mina built reminded me of something from a Dr. Seuss book or something.
Every morning after breakfast, Leta runs over to the couch to snuggle with the blanket. She does this thing with blankets where she holds it to her mouth/under her nose with one hand, then twists her hair with the other hand, and it's just heaven for her.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Last night in the bathtub Mina was pouring water from a dixie cup to a tupperware bowl, back and forth, saying in a sort of mad-scientist way, "FASCINATING...!"
Of course, the little imp, Leta was saying in her cute squeeky voice, "dwink it, Mina!" You see, she's trying to get Mina in trouble already.

This morning, as usual, Leta asked over and over, "where daddy going?" and Jason replied, "I'm going to work to make money to pay for the juice you're drinking."
Later, during breakfast, Mina stated, "Daddy is getting Leta's juice at work." Then when we were going upstairs she said, "It's okay, Leta, Daddy will get your juice for you. Daddy will put it in a new cup."

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I didn't want it to come to this

you must now verify the letters you see in the box when posting a comment. This is because of porn spam in my comments. Thank you.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

a first

at age 3.5, Mina has finally named her stuffed animals. The mama sheep is named Taptulle and her lamb is Marqueue. (TAP-TULL and MAR-KEEOO). I think these names are incredibly creative.

That is all.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Peek at the past

I'm happy. I've been happy for a while now. There are always ups and downs, you know, and I'll always be Hilary, but I just want to share with you that at my core, I'm so HAPPY! Can you believe it? Sometimes I can't. It's amazing. Of course this means I'm going to post some excerpts from my old paper journals every day this week and feel grateful that I'm not THERE anymore.

I feel like I'm going to fall apart and that I should get help. I constantly feel like I am going to lash out. Like it is some great task of restraint to maintain my composure. I feel bitter all the time, just ugly and bitter to the core. It probably would have done me good to stay alone for a while, but now what can I do about that? My heart is being nursed back to health, only it feels more like drowning. I'm such a basketcase! God help me.

I fear being alone so immensely. It drives me up the wall. What is going on with me? I feel so odd sometimes. I am sitting here out of my head, looking in...and it's me, I'm me, always and forever. Why is that so hard to take?

I will never be happy. This melancholy bullshit has been there every moment of my life. Snuffing it makes more sense every time I think about it and that scares the shit out of me.

I am always running.

Sometimes I get this sensation like I'm slipping in extremely slow motion. Life is getting shittier, but it's happening so slowly. It's not life though, it's

I wish I was more of an artist. I'm just not.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Big Changes

Every spring I get all apocalyptic about the changes on the horizon. It's like I'm an old man sitting in my rocker on the back porch, watching the storms roll in. Except...I'm scared to death of the weather and I'm not scared of big changes.

There are so many things I think about doing. Each one of them seems like the ultimate path. I don't want to choose one because that would be like cutting off all but one finger...or something. Let's just say I'm a dabbler. I want to throw myself into so many different things. I feel like if I don't do one of them, I'll miss a whole world. I'm not saying I need to do them all at once, but I think I should start knocking them off one by one.

I love to write. I'd really love to write something good. A little something. Maybe a few somethings. I'd like to see my writing "out there". I could really take pride in that, and it's something I do compulsively anyway. This year I think I would like to, by year's end, have written a little something and submitted it somewhere somehow (not really sure how the whole process works).

Also on my "to do" list this year is getting serious about art. I'd like to go into some of my favorite galleries and say, "What do I need to do to get a spotlight here?" I'm working on having some things framed. Mostly, though, on a day to day note, I need more practice.

I have always sort of wanted to sing. That may never happen because I'm so terribly shy. We'll see.

My sewing machine is begging for attention, and I am bursting at the seams with brilliant kooky clothing ideas. It would be fun to sew...with someone. I could do it all day if I had company. Of course, there are the children. Right now everything else is "when I have a minute"...I'm just trying to make those minutes count.

But Sunday nights are for TV with my husband. Unless I have plans. Heehee.

I would also really like to eat a chocolate croissant. Let's see if I can make that happen this week. :)

Monday, March 06, 2006

I'm trying...

to consolidate the art on a new blog,, but I can't seem to post anything and it's all forbidden and blah de blah de blah. Blogger is fired.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Picture Post

"Say 'cheese'!"

Too cute for words!

"Mina, give leta a kiss!"

Spiders are all the rage around here.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Okay, okay...

I'll make a real post.

Or maybe a list. Yeah, let's not get too crazy.

Noteworthy things from recent weeks
-We sold the Corolla and now the majority of the time I am without car, as Jason takes The Family Car to work. I'm not complaining but let's just say I look forward to packing up the kids to go somewhere. Or, I look forward to decent weather so we can walk to the neighborhood park for kids who are a lot older than mine, shady types and litterers.

-Mina has gone to Occupational Therapy twice, which I think is proving to be the most beneficial thing yet since dietary modification.

-Tomorrow Mina goes to the Speech Therapist and I have no idea if it will "help" or not. She can enunciate her words just fine.

-I have two canker sores in my mouth that make life miserable.

-Leta loves Caillou and gets mad if Jason changes the channel. She gets this broken hearted look and squeeks, "I ANT AILLOU!" and Jason just can't say no.

-Jason is practicing his drums a lot. Hours and hours a day it seems. He's going to hurt himself. No one seems to mind.

-I started two new paintings and finished one of them. I'd really like to frame everything. Maybe that's something we could do per month or something.

-I spilled tomato sauce the other day and was forced to clean under/behind the fridge. It was scary. It's a good thing Jason was there to help.

There! Wow, that was a lot! And wasn't it interesting?

Friday, February 10, 2006

Friday, January 13, 2006

Cafe ZuZu

And it's by the Zoo. You won't forget the name.

I wish it was closer to home because it's the best kid friendly place I've been to yet. The coffee is great, as are the pastries. It's colorful and modern with plenty of sunny windows. A friendly and fun staff brings your food/drink RIGHT TO YOUR TABLE and I noticed later that they even sell beer.

But best of all...

The play area has a TRAIN SET! And your friend Laura will totally put up with your kid sticking her finger in her eye!

Don't worry, we cleaned up our mess.

And off topic, here's one of Mina's latest magnetic doodles...

All of her Thomas the tank engine drawings have recently acquired whiskers and stitches in their foreheads.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

new mistress

Jason cashed in his change for an electronic drum kit. I just hope he appreciates that I let him make noise that makes me feel like my skin is going to crawl away...there is something about the tappity tap taptap that just drives me bananas. I married a drummer! Ah well, the kids like it and I think I'm just going to have to invest in a lot of ear plugs if they are going to be musical.