Thursday, March 17, 2005

Live and Learn [formerly "I was MORTIFIED!!! (say anything, YM magazine...come on like you don't read it.)"]

Yesterday I had to bring both of the children to the grocery store. We have to use one of those behemoth carts for people with multiple children who must be restrained and I always feel like one of those women I hated when I was younger. I thought if they were stuffed full of warm food it might be okay, so we stopped at the deli to get some chicken and biscuits. The woman at the counter is a sadist and snuck a chocolate chip cookie into the styrofoam container, and of course Mina snatched it up before I could even see what she had. I tried to take it away and make her eat the other stuff, but...it was just too late.

We managed to make it through produce just fine, but when we got to the Natural Foods section (#2 in order) Mina started arching her back, squirming, whining, screaming, and trying to get out. I thought to myself (dumbly) "Well, maybe she's old enough to walk around the store with me..." I let her out, telling her if she touched anything she would have to sit in the cart again. She was very careful not to touch anything for about 0.02 seconds, until she saw the bulk bins of nuts. She squeeled with glee, ran over and reached her hand in...quick as a flash I had her scooped up and was strapping her into her seat, *calmly* explaining that I told her not to touch anything. That is when she had mega meltdown #1. I started pushing the cart fast and grabbing everything I needed, because there is nothing to be done at that point except wait it out. I could see this wasn't going to be fun and figured I should just get it over with as quickly as possible. Leta got a few good screams in there too, just for the hell of it.

Halfway through the store Mina finally calmed down and started performing all of her best tricks. She sang songs, she counted, she said her ABCs, she smiled at strangers...it was as though she wanted someone else to take her home with them. I showered her with praise to keep her at it, but then we got to the checkout, the most evil, retched place in the whole grocery store. All of those pretty shiny candies and lighters and batteries and magazines, all within Mina's reach! And me, "nonononoNoNoNoNONONONO. Don't touch, don't touch, that isn't yours...here play with...play with this...(random thing from my purse--new keychain this time) Oh no, don't drop that. Oh no, don't eat it. Yuck. " and then we have mega meltdown #2. Finally I paid for the groceries and left as fast as I could, and ...

...left my wallet.

I didn't realize it until later in the evening when I was going to Office Depot to buy poster board for my Chemistry presentation (due tomorrow). I had to go pick it up and thankfully the four dollars I had in there were still there. I kept thinking about the time I dropped my keys into the mailbox in front of Jason's work and every other time I did something incredibly dumb because I was flustered from dealing with children.

At least I can laugh at myself. Laugh, and then cry, and then laugh and cry.

That is why I don't go grocery shopping with them anymore.

4 comments:

hadjare said...

Now THAT was an entry. Mina is making good for that old phrase "terrible two's"

Jen said...

I hate shopping with Tristan. He's gotten better, but yeah, it sucks because you feel like everyone is looking at me like I'm a bad mom when he has a meltdown. He had a meltdown at Safeway, and I told him that he had to put the cookies back because he was being a bad boy and then he threw a fit right in front of the store manager who was leading a tour of associates around the store. MORTIFIED!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever watch the Super Nanny show? Now those are pretty bad kids!! I can't imagine my great grand daughter acting like that.. Sweet little Mina? Just part of Motherhood, Hilary.. You really have to appreciate them when they are tiny babies waking up at 2:AM and just wanting milk !!! So sweet then...
She will grow into a lovely woman some day and you will remember the grocery store trips with love in your heart...
GG

yer mom said...

too funny hilary!!!! Yes, most of the time I grocery shopped while you, Shannon and Frank were at the store, and I was gone all afternoon. I must say that was nice.