Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Life is Good...

I found an entry in my livejournal archives that I like to re-read now and then, so I thought I would post it here...this if from when I was pregnant with Leta.


Coffee is amazing.
Normally I am pretty useless in the morning. I lay around, watching Mina play, not feeling well, occasionally and unenthusiastically reading books to my ever absorbant daughter. I'm not the best parent I can be until after naptime, usually. If I have any thoughts at all they are usually sort of grey and sludgy. Just a little honesty to start off this entry...

This morning I had some deliciously crappy instant swiss mocha and have transformed as a person several times since 8 AM.

I woke up annoyed because Jason had to take the Saab to work for some reason.
I had my morning planned out--I was going to balance the virtual checkbook, shower and dress before I even got Mina up. Then we were going to have breakfast and go grocery shopping, which we desperately need to do since we have no milk or any other beverages and almost no food. We have Mac&cheese which I can just make with lots of butter I guess. Oh yum. :/ Anyway...since Jason took the car with the carseat I can't do that. I don't know about anyone else, but I get grumpy when I get a certain idea in my head of how my day is going to go and it doesn't happen that way.

So there I was, sipping my instant swiss mocha feeling all crabby when this program on pbs came on about different ways people live and carry on traditions and things. There was a woman and three kids living in a shelter. Yeah I see stuff like this all the time. I'm aware that anyone can become homeless. But I guess I still get the idea in my head that people control their own destiny and all that...so it struck me that this woman was a lot like me. I don't know how she ended up in the shelter but they carried on...the kids did chores, they made the best of it. Maybe she had no family, maybe they were really poor, maybe they lived on the other side of the planet, maybe she didn't want to burden them...maybe her husband got layed off, they could no longer pay for life insurance, and he died. Who the hell knows.

Anyway, I took a look around me...we have a roof over our heads. We have two cars. We have swiss mocha and mac&cheese. We have families who would help us if we didn't. Everything we need is right here, and when something isn't terribly convenient we get bent out of shape. It made me cry, to say the least.

So, instead of being a crab-ass all day I'm going to do stuff around the house and be thankful that we have a house, and that my husband has a job, and that he has a car to get there, and money to pick up milk on the way home.

Thank you, swiss mocha, for keeping me awake enough to watch pbs this morning. :)



5 comments:

hadjare said...

That was a very nice post.

Hilary said...

Every year or so I come up with a good one. ;P

Anonymous said...

You are just something else, you know that? Who else would be thankful for instant swiss mocha and mac&cheese after watching a PBS show :)
-Jana

Anonymous said...

Oh, Hellcat, you have no idea how many times documentaries have shaken me to tears in guilt at the lack of appreciation I have for my life. Recently, there was some cheesy news program about the tsunami that reduced me to weeping. A mother had to choose which of her young children to hang onto...it was awful, like Sophie's Choice (it turned out ok, though.) I feel like such a sentimental moron, wiping away my bigfat tears before someone catches me sobbing in front of the television.
-QueenSarita

yer mom said...

Reality checks always seem to come at the right times. I have so much to be thankful for, especially a daughter like you!